Systeme D

5 March 2008

CCD PR are spamming wankers

Some excerpts from my Sent mail folder.

  • 18 Sep 2007: "Please remove us from your list, none of these have anything to do with the content of our magazine. Thanks."
  • 11 Oct 2007: "Please remove me from your mailing list."
  • 13 Dec 2007: "Please remove me from your list, thanks."
  • 29 Jan 2008: "Please please remove us from CCD's mailing list - much though we like getting press releases about leggy babes, neither this nor any of the other alternative health things you send us really have anything at all to do with canals. Thanks."
  • 5 Feb 2008: "Please please take me off all your company's PR lists, none of this has anything to do with the subject of our magazine."

Has this stopped them? Has it my arse.

"Them" are CCD PR (Sarah Summerfield, Siarah Khan, Rachael Parkman), possibly the most clueless PR agency in world history. The five "please stop sending me this shit" e-mails above were sent in response to releases about Sage Organic St John’s Wort, Naturtint sensitive hair colourant, Patch-it! ("placed on the soles of the feet overnight to stimulate healthy circulation"), Patch-it! again (which now apparently will "banish nasty drainage-clogging toxins out of your system to give you picture perfect pins"), and last of all, Zotrim, an "over-the-counter herbal formulation based on three South American herbs, that has been proven to boost satiety" (sorry, wtf is satiety?) "by delaying gastric emptying" ("gastric emptying"? is that "having a crap"?) "so you eat smaller portions at mealtimes and snack less between meals".

Needless to say, there is absolutely no chance of us printing anything based on these releases.

Some may feel that people like this deserve a mildly reproachful epithet such as "snake-oil salesmen" or "unprincipled charlatans". But, you know, I get several dozen unsolicited e-mails a day for "over-the-counter herbal formulations based on three South American herbs". I'm sure you do too. It's not generally called "PR". It's called spam, and the people who send it are called spamming wankers.

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